Vanity is my favorite sin!

a southern belle's spot in the big city

On Katy Perry Songs

Are you sick of my blogposts about songs yet? this is the last one for now, i promise..

in my previous post about Rihanna songs, i talked about an old flame, something that i never did before., but i felt like finally talking about the relationship is symbolic of me finally letting it go. of me finally moving on.

i realized i never really talked about how i moved on. for the first 3 months after it fizzled out and ended, i moped around like a sad little puppy missing its master. i was kinda hoping that we would get back together. it was pathetic, really, looking back. after that three months, i had to accept that that particular love story has come to an end. that there will never be a new chapter again. and i unwillingly went back to the dating scene, with the constant prodding of my girl friends here.

for a while, it seems to me all my nights were like this one:

until i met someone.

he was flirty and nice and sweet and gentle and he was the perfect salve to soothe my aching heart, and he was pretty to look at too, and that boosted my ego! everything about what i had with him was light and fluffy and sweet. i kind of likened what we had to a cotton candy. 😛 and it was exactly that. just light and sweet and it fills you up. the relationship never went further than hand-holding and gazing into each others’ eyes, mainly because i was not ready for a relationship knowing that i was still trying to get over an old one. for that i would always have the fondest memories of him. what we had was sweet and innocent and something that takes you back to a time where everything was light and sweet and innocent..

yes, he made me feel like i was living a teenage dream

because he thinks i’m pretty without any make up on, and he thinks i’m funny when i tell the punchlines wrong. before i met him i was alright but things were kind of heavy. he truly brought me to life.

 

it was rebound, pure and simple. i know it sounds bad said like that, but it was true. i knew it, he knew it and we were both fine with it. and really, it was because of what we had that i regained my confidence. my humour. my awesomeness! haha! i’d like to think i left him with fond memories too.

but as i said, it never went beyond hand holding and eye-gazing. i knew in my heart there never would be anything deeper than what we already had. there was just no spark. in its early stages, i could already tell that there would be no happy ending looming in the horizons for us. it was just not like the movies at all.

it’s not like how it should be. he was not the one, i did not come undone and my world did not stop spinning. Snowhite said when i was young, “one day my prince will come” so i will wait for that date. 

it’s not all bad though. he taught me how to be me again. and for that he will always be a valuable part of my life. he gave me my roar back.

i got up. already brushing off the dust. you hear my voice, you hear that sound like the thunder, gonna shake the ground. Get ready cuz i’ve had enough.

I’ve got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire. cuz i’m a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar. louder, louder than a lion.

and now i know i am ready. and i have high hopes for a future filled with love.

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